My Life with Two

After having Ryder, I wondered if I would ever blog or e-mail again. It seemed my free time got scaled down significantly, if not entirely. People warned me that the transition would be difficult, but I wasn't really prepared to lose so much "me" time. I find myself dreaming about taking a long bike ride, or laying down in my backyard and sleeping in the warm sunshine...just to have a few hours where I don't have to do anything for anyone. I sound bitter, but I'm really not. Even though this has been a tough transition, I love my new life, and now that Ryder is falling into a semi-predictable schedule, I feel like I am slowly emerging from survival mode.

My life with two...crazy! There are days when I feel warn down to my very core. My arms hurt from carrying Fin while pushing Ryder in the stroller, my back hurts from bending over the bathtub, and my head hurts from enduring 2 year old tantrums. Then, there are days of pure joy. When Finley flips through a familiar book and recites the story from her 2 year old perspective, and Ryder smiles so big that his eyes turn into moons and his dimples are undeniable. One thing is for sure, whether my day is chaotic or smooth, I realize that I have been extremely blessed to be given these two little kids.

Ryder is definitely an "easy" baby. He is quite happy with sitting in his swing or car seat while I take care of Fin. He travels around very happily and makes little demands. When he does cry, it is usually so soft and unassuming. He has the most precious smile. When he starts smiling, his entire face lights up as if he is expecting something really exciting to happen. He really enjoys tummy time and will push his head straight up to the ceiling in order to find out what everyone is doing. He is very curious about us. So often, I will be sitting with him in my lap, and look down to find him staring at me with his big wide open eyes. He has this sweet expression on his face as if he is saying, "as long as I can see you, I know that everything is good."

Finley turned into a little girl on the day that I brought Ryder home from the hospital. It seems like her energy and intensity ramped up a few notches. Suddenly, she started running laps through our living room and front room telling us how "fast" she is, and egging us on to chase her. We went out to eat with friends one night, and she danced by the table for 2 hours straight. She doesn't like sitting still for too long unless she is really focused on a certain task. One day, I took her and Ryder to the grocery store. Dreading the fight that we would probably have over carrying her or riding in the cart, I was pleasantly surprised when she sat quietly in the front. After awhile, I peered around Ryder's seat to discover that she was gnawing on a package of cookie dough. Yes, she broke through the plastic and was actually consuming the dough while saying, "this is yummy!" I was lucky that I had my camera on me.

She is very verbal and constantly surprises us with how much she understands. She must be really processing all of our discipline efforts as she often role plays with different characters. "Mary", who is actually a shepherd boy from her Fischer Price nativity set, must be a fairly naughty girl because she spends a lot of time in "time out." The other day, I heard her tell her rabbit that she "must go to her room." She even tried to discipline Ryder the other day as she told him he must "obey mom or go to time out!"

Fin is so cute with Ryder. She LOVES him! Sometimes, I wish she didn't love him quite so much. Sweet Ryder has been so tolerant of her smothering hugs, her attempts to carry him, and her loud and sudden exclamations. I heard her tell Ryder that she is going to "teach you how to play soccer, and teach you how to play baby" (apparently that doesn't come naturally). I also saw her snuggle up to him and say, "Ryder, I will always love you." I'm so proud of my sweet kids and even though they ware me completely out, I feel like I must be the luckiest girl in the world to spend my days with them.