Trust, Prayer, Love, Endurance

I looked in the religious section of the Colorado Newspaper yesterday, and read this question, "Why does God create humans with weaknesses, like stupidity and greed, knowing in advance what they will do because of those defects?" I thought it was a great question, and for a minute, I actually considered what life would be like if we didn't have weaknesses. I probably would have had a much different experience over these last few weeks. Since we've lived in Colorado (4 weeks), Ryder has been to the emergency room 3 times. The first time, he fell with a toothbrush in his mouth and cut himself really badly. His entire face swelled out like a chipmunk. While we were in Durango, he had a febrile siezure, which was terrifying for us and an exhausting experience for him. Third time, just this last weekend, we went to the Urgent Care unit because he was limping on his leg and screaming as though he was in pain. I really didn't know what to think, until I saw the bump on his foot and assumed it must be a horrible spider or tick bite. Thankfully, he just got a blister from his old crocs that got infected, which is painful but not life-threatening.

So, it's been an interesting time for our family, running back and forth to the hospitals and caring for our little accident prone guy. In the midst of it all, Ryder and I took a memorable trip to the grocery store where a woman chastized me for letting him walk barefoot, and actually followed me to my car to write down my licence plate number and turn it into CPS. She saw some scratches on his face, and was verbally concerned with my mothering skills. I was a little concerned myself as I was gearing up for the third trip to the emergency. I was all alone at the time, and honestly didn't know where I was going. I called my mom to look it up online, since I didn't have the means to do that, and got some vague directions. Just as I was leaving the house, in all of my anxiety and sleeplessness, Jessica (a new friend in our neighborhood) showed up at my door. "We can take Finley!" Those words were like a song to me. I was so grateful for the help and felt a little more confident that I might survive the day without a nervous break down. We loaded up and as I was driving off, she said, "You ARE a good mom!" A timely message in the midst of such chaos and brokeness. I drove off with the thought of how thankful I was for Jessica and for the depth that already existed in our relationship.

I guess it's moments like those when you realize why God made us with weaknesses. If we were all perfect, would we ever need each other? Would we ever need God? Would we be the people we are today without the battle scars, the lessons, the growth? Would we really experience depth in our relationships? Would we know love, I mean the real kind of love that involves forgiveness, perseverence, and patience? I can't say I know exactly what God was doing when He designed us, but I have a feeling He wanted us to experience struggle and all the priceless things that come from it. I think God created a broken world for a purpose, not to sit back and laugh at our mistakes, but to give us the opportunity to know love and the infinite value of it. I'm not frustrated with how these few weeks have gone. I believe it's part of the story God wants for all of us; trust, prayer, love, endurance. Its just another step in my dance with Him.