My Funny Entourage

I realized today that I have been holding onto this secret belief that somehow my life is going to get a little bit easier, just before this baby arrives, so I will feel completely at ease and capable of handling the needs of another human being.  I think I am finally surrendering that misguided thought, as these two toddlers continue to keep life interesting.  The thing about living every day with toddlers is that when things go wrong, they REALLY go wrong, to the point that you eventually have to laugh.  Somedays, I feel like two little clowns are punking me.  I think 'where are the hidden cameras...this HAS to be a joke.' 

I envisioned Finley as my big mature helper, and she is actually a really great helper, minus the mature part.  One day, she excitedly told me that she was helping me fold the laundry.  She led me downstairs to the living room where the laundry basket was sitting upside down and the clothes where scattered over every inch of the floor.  "How is this helping me?"  I asked.  With a big smile, she proudly pointed to the three disheveled towels folded in half on the couch.  "Oh, thanks sweet girl."  Another time, she came downstairs after being in time out in her room to tell me that she had made something beautiful.  "Oh really?"  I nervously climbed the stairs to discover that she had drawn crayon scribbles all over the window sill.  That took me a long time to clean...who knew crayon had such staying power.  I also found her in the bathroom one day, rumaging through the cleaning supplies.  When I asked her what she was doing, she boasted that she was cleaning the bathroom.  I could just smell the chemicals in the room and was pretty confident she had peppered the walls with them.  She has such a big heart, and I'm really thankful for that.  One day, I know it will be a huge asset.   

I guess the moment that surprised me the most was the day that she decided she didn't want her hair getting into her face.  She climbed on a dining room chair and reached the scissors at the top of our pantry, and proceeded to give herself a genuine mullet.  I found her standing in a heap of beautiful hair, with choppy ends surrounding her face.  She didn't smile this time because she KNEW she was in trouble.  I melted to the floor, put my head in my hands, and cried.  It took me awhile to recover from that one, and I still get sad when I look at her.  I told her that I loved her long hair, and she said, "it's ok mama!  It's still long in the back!"  See, that's the problem.  It's not supposed to be short in the front and long in the back, unless you lived in the 70s, and even then, it was never cute.  The crazy part was that she had a school presentation that night.  I was at a loss of what to do with her hair, but thankfully it still fit in piggy tails, which kind of hid the Edward Scissorhands hair do.  

Ryder seems to be aquiring some skills that have been a little bit helpful.  He can put his shoes on, climb into his carseat and buckel, put his dishes in the sink, close the door, and even take off his clothes.  The problem is, he throws a full-on tantrum if I even remotely attempt to do one of these things for him, which can be aggravating for both of us.  I was secretly hoping he would potty train himself, but that is actually the odd part about him.  He typically waits till we are in public restrooms to try, and for some reason, he insists on being completely naked.  So, we spend a lot of time in dirty stalls with me trying to pry a naked boy out of the corner, and still keep up with Finney during the chaos.  

Today might have been my favorite memory with him (aside from when he pulled the fire alarm at the doctor's office).  We went to Focus on the Family to play in the toddler area where they have one of those inside jungle gyms.  Fin helped Ryder climb up the enclosed stairs to the top.  I thought for sure he was going to love going down the windy covered slide to get down, but I was very wrong.  He contemplated it for awhile, but after 20 minutes of kids climbing over him, I realized that I would be forced to go in after him.  So, next to the big sign that read, "no adults or children over 4 feet", I began my pregnant ascent. I know I looked graceful climbing the cramped quarters with my big belly and plenty of onlookers.  I was glad when the rescue mission was complete.  Of course, a lady came up to me afterwards to tell me that they don't advise pregnant women climbing the jungle gym.  I just laughed.  "Thanks lady, I thought it was ideal for pregnant women, what a shame."  

 But, at the end of the day, I watch Ryder run around the backyard chasing his "friendsbee" with his cute little dimple and his contagious laugh; and I see Finney energetically explaining something to him, with her dancing eyes and bright smile.  And, I realize that God was ingenius when he made toddlers irresistably cute.  I honestly don't know what would happen if he didn't. So, I guess I am left to just sit and wait for the tidlewave.  I have a feeling it's going to barrel me over and leave me gasping for air, but that's ok.  In the end, I get to have THREE little crazy miracles following me around, and that feels pretty special.