Mommy Valley

I am beginning to recognize that I've hit a mommy valley. I call it a valley because it is just a part of the journey, and every one's journey has ups and downs. This month has been particularly difficult for me, but I'm not surprised. January is never a great month for me. I don't really like wearing coats, and I especially don't like chasing the kids around the house to put on their coats. But, I think it's more than just the apparel that is making me blue. It's the day to day work of being a mommy that feels exhausting right now. I feel like I need a break, a long break, like a week on a beach in the Keys. I can feel myself becoming less grateful, less joyful, and more tired, which is a difficult place to be. I write this on the blog because I hope to one day print these posts out and give them to my grown-up children. I don't think they will be that interested in them until they start raising kids of their own. That's when I started asking my mom questions about my childhood and how she handled the daily challenges and joys. I know that a lot of these details will escape me, so instead of telling my daughter or daughters the story of God's grace and provision through the years, I will probably say something like, "it just went by so fast." So, this is what I prefer to say to them when they reach this same difficult position, because they will:

"Sweet girl, I know it's really hard. Being a mommy is truly the most challenging task I have ever been given. There were definitely times when Ryder was throwing a tantrum and you weren't eating your dinner, that I just wanted to crawl into a little hole and disappear. I didn't always want to get up in the middle of the night when I could hear you crying, I didn't enjoy nagging you to brush your teeth, and it seemed so burdensome that someone always pooped their pants when we were walking out the door. There were some dark days in my experience as a mom when my heart longed for an escape. I tried everything, shopping (which was wonderful for a day), napping, praying, working out, accepting help from friends. And while all of those things gave me a sense of relief, I still had to get out of bed in the morning and feed you, wipe your little noses, and change your diapers. You can't escape being a mom because it's forever. And some days, you feel quite grateful for forever. Like when you sat next to me at the doctor's office the other day while the ultrasound technition put jell on my tummy. You were fascinated with the pictures of the new baby and asked me everyday after, if we could do it again. I'm grateful for forever when Ryder calls me "mommy" in his high pitched voice and snuggles up in my lap like there is no other place he would rather be. Those magical moments will happen, sometimes just minutes before the difficult ones, and as a mommy, you take them both. Your journey will be unpredictable, rewarding and discouraging, and you will learn to be grateful for both. Because God has some beautiful things to offer in the Valleys. You will learn things about yourself, about your need for Him, about perseverance. Your family relationships will become more rich as your kids see that you love them unconditionally, and your husband discovers your weaknesses. You will experience growth in a brand new way that is often quite painful, but extremely rewarding. I'm glad you are in the valley right now baby girl, because it means that God is making you into the woman He wants you to be. Be strong! Keep pressin on, because one day, you will experience a great reward for your labor."