Before you Know it

If I had a penny for every time someone told me that my baby will grow up before I know it...I would at least have $5. I've heard so many opinions about nursing, scheduling, sleeping, and teaching...but, the one common thing I hear from every parent I know is to cherish the time that I have. Every time I hear someone say that, I feel slightly panicked. I can just imagine myself 18 years from now, watching Finney pack up for college, sobbing because I feel like she was just in diapers. Is it just inevitable? Is my heart going to break when she is old enough to leave me? My mother-in-law said that there is a story about a monster who carries his heart in a bag. I can totally relate to that monster because every time I put Finney in the carseat, I carry my heart out the door. It's a vulnerable thing to be a parent. I've never had my heart so exposed, especially not exposed and independant. At least now, I can keep a close watch on my heart.

I think I have discovered why it is that time seems to escalate once you have a child. One reason is because a growing child is truly experiencing a mind-blowing transformation. When I look at a 2 year old, I really cannot believe that my slobber girl will ever be as big or as capable. The span of development is huge. The other reason is because once you have a child, each minute feels a little bit fuller. Balancing their needs and interests with your own "to do" list makes time a little more complicated. My mom and I went to Target this weekend. Our objectives were to grab a bite at the deli, feed Finley, have her first photo shoot, look for a couple of cute new tops, and buy a gift for a friend. We were there for about three hours, but it felt like 5 minutes. We ate fast because Finley was hungry. We took the pictures fast because she was in a great mood. We shopped fast because she was starting to get tired. When I got home that afternoon, I threw myself on the couch and wondered where the morning went. No wonder time flies! It all became very clear. So, in order to avoid facing the time flies blues, you must discourage any developmental changes for your child, and stay home to watch the squirrels...otherwise, I guess it's inevitable.

But honestly, I am really thankful that people have warned me how fast time flies. It's good to be reminded of that when I wake up in the morning, discouraged with how little sleep I got. I do want to cherish this time with her! I want to remember how she gulps when she eats, what she looks like when she sleeps, how she gets this huge smile on her face when I get close to her. She laughed for the first time the other day and it felt like she took a step on the moon. Ted and I were jumping out of our socks. I'm so thankful for this time with her, and I really do want to cherish each day.