A Letter to my Kids

Ryder, sometimes I feel like there is a communication gap between us. So often, you want something from me and I don't quite understand what it is, and you get frustrated. And there are times that I want something from you, and I cant quite get it across successfully. I'm confident that we will learn and grow in this. Thankfully, it does not hinder the love between us. Every time I see that sweet smile and your precious dimple, I want to kiss your whole face. I can tell that the feeling is mutual because so often you want to curl up in my lap and snuggle for as long as I will let you. Sometimes, you even wake me up for a snuggle session at night. I'm not a big fan of being woken up, but when you say, "sleep with you for a little bit," I turn into mush. Lately, you've been asking to "go see the blue" just before bedtime. I think you caught a glimpse of the amazing scenery from our front porch, where the light blue sky meets the dark blue mountains. When the sun sets and outlines the mountains in bright gold, the colors are truly brillant. We started a tradition of getting our PJs on and taking our nightime prayers to the front porch, where even Daley sits and stares in awe. I hug all of my babies in my lap, stare at the tranquil mountains, and think how even my wildest dreams are not this good.

Daley, you are the only one I know who likes cookies dipped in rain water. You truly are a beautiful mess. I love that you take out your passy and rub your lips up to mine for one big slobbery kiss. If you hear anyone crying, you dart straight over to them. You squat down to put your face in front of the one in tears, give them a look of compassion and pull their head to your chest. I have never seen a baby with the ability to have such empathy. God really created a nurturing instinct in you. At night, when I feed you some milk, you often drink a little, then stand up on my lap and force the bottle in my mouth. So sweet of you to share. When you aren't taking care of mama, you are toting your dolls around the house, feeding them and rocking them. I've always wondered why the dolls are always naked. Is it because you prefer to be naked and probably feel like a great mama liberating them in such a way? I also don't understand why you insist on climbing so much. Does this make you feel big? Your favorite place to go is the bathroom sink. I often find you perched in the sink, sucking on our toothbrushes, such a little stinker. When I'm not laughing at your crazy behavior, I'm enjoying your snuggly personality. You just have the best way of snuggling in and givng a very long and satisfying hug.

Finley, where to start? I had no idea how much I would enjoy you starting school. You love to learn and you adore your teacher. I love walking you home each day and hearing about your experiences. I think you have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You insist on drawing a picture for your teacher every single day, and you almost always come home with a picture for me. One morning, I watched you skip up to your sweet teacher with a wrinkled up piece of paper. You were smiling from ear to ear as though just handing it to her was as fun as a carnival ride. I smiled because I can totally relate. I have that same love for gifting homemade crafts. It's a great feeling to give something special of yourself, and feel that it may be appreciated. Maybe my proudest moment as a mom was the day that I took you to school in your doggy costume. It was Dictionary Day, and you were asked to dress as something in the dictionary. I didn't realize that this wasn't a very recognized occasion, as I thought it was a great idea to be a dog. You walked into your classroom, with all of the other kids in their normal attire, and acted so proud of your costume. The teacher said that you took it off for lunch and recess, and then carefully put it back on for the rest of the day. You loved being a dog, regardless of anyone else. I hope you will always be this way, confident of who you are, even if everyone is doing something different. You just have this beautiful thing about you, this nieve and precious love. You pray every night for our god-daughter, that "she will grow up big and have good teachers." One day, you ran around the back yard with a zip loc bag in the rain. You said that you were collecting water so that "nobody's house would flood." I think one day, you may save the world, but right now, I'm just enjoying watching you grow up.

Thanking God today for the gift of loving each of you, unwrapping your little personalities one page at a time. There is still so much to learn and experience, and I am so thankful for that. God has given me so much! Praise to the one who is "able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine." Ephesians 3:20