Dear Ryder,

Do you know that papa and I actually talked about NOT having a December baby. I couldn't imagine that anybody would want to share a birthday month with Jesus. But, then I got pregnant with you and did the math, and remembered that God always surprises me with plans that are not mine. I had no idea the blessing that awaited me. When I carried you into December, I got to experience a whole different Christmas season. Looking down at my big belly, I meditated on the miracle of Mary's pregnancy, the special bond that she had with Elizabeth, the journey to Bethlehem, the expectations and questions. And then you arrived, this amazing little boy, soft and little. I had a different kind of joy, sitting around the Christmas tree, watching others open gifts. I didn't need a single thing because I already had my gift.

At nine years old, you are still a gift. There's a thoughtfulness about you that is new for me. Sometimes it shows up in the most surprising ways, like when I asked you to write thank you notes for your birthday gifts, and you sat right down with your cards and pen, and wrote 15 notes full of reasons why you loved the things that you were given. You ask a lot of questions about homeless people. I can tell that you feel burdened for their situation. One day, we approached a homeless person on the corner, and you said, "mom, we should give him some money!" In my cynicism, I told you that he might spend our money on boos. I will never forget your innocent and generous reply, "we should just buy him some boots, and give him some money too."

You are easy to play with because you enjoy just about everything; building legos, throwing the frisbee, shooting baskets, building forts, playing hockey, fishing, hitting golf balls, riding bikes, or reading books. And it just about makes my whole year, when I get to do one of these things with you.

But, the best part, that feeds my mommy heart, is that you love to snuggle. You never turn me down if I want to sit next to you or wrap my arms around you. You love being squeezed, tickled and squished. Every night, you ask me to snuggle in bed, pray and sing. Bed time is also your favorite time to talk.  You usually don't have a lot to say, but at bedtime, the words just flow...and, if they don't flow, you will say, "mom, what do you want to talk about?" Sometimes, you ask me deeper questions, like "why do good people die?" It's your connecting time...the moment that you have me to yourself, and I feel honored that you value it.

I know there might be a day when this feels too childish, but somehow, I feel certain that you will never grow too old for your mom to love on you. I have a feeling that you won't chase after things that make you "cool." You seem disinterested in the quest to be anything other than yourself. I'm grateful for that. I'm thankful for your wise and sincere heart, and I just know that God has a perfect design...even back when I feared having a December baby, God knew that He had so much more for me than my brain could conceive. He always does. You, Ryder, are a beautiful gift.