Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Girl

Sweet Sloan, where to start...I wasn't sure I would make it through your first year of life.  When I have a baby,  I feel like I am operating at capacity.  The everyday care, the breast-feeding, the sleepless nights, just take EVERYTHING in me.  I usually walk around like a zombie, feeling a bit trapped in my home because the baby seems too fragile for the world, hoping that each day will pass quickly.  This year was different.  I was so busy with the other three that I couldn't self-loathe my sleepless state or somehow coast; I had to go.  I just prayed each day that God would sustain me through what I felt was impossible, and HE DID.  We were busy, happy and really really tired.  So often this year, I would look down from our chaotic adventure, and see your sweet face looking up at me and think, "oh yeah...I have this precious little baby...wow, she's beautiful," then return back to our chaos.  Before I knew it, you got big and now you are turning ONE. I'm proud to say I made it!  YOU made it! After a year of being dragged around the house like a rag doll. Fingers have been stuffed in your mouth, nose and ears, but you tolerated it all, so happy to be along for the ride.

And Happy you are!  Your sweet smile is my best accessory.  People cannot even pass me without saying, "she's so happy!"  You lived in the byorn this year.  I cooked, hiked, wiped bottoms, vacuumed, and played soccer with you strapped to my chest.  Now that you are one, you like trying your independence a little, which is much better for my back.  I can't get enough of watching you toddle around.  You have THE BEST expression on your face, like there is so much to explore and you are just beginning.  I love that look! It makes me feel giddy, experiencing the world through your eyes.

Tonight, I lifted you up on my feet, and you did this awesome belly laugh.  It made me want to do it over and over again.  That laugh is like magic; its impossible to hear it and not smile. The kids and I will do whatever it takes to hear it.  Then, I mashed your squishy belly on my face.  I could just sleep on your soft belly all night long.

Baby, you are one special little person.  I don't want you to get any older, because this is a really fun stage. We've gotten into a good rhythm, you and I.  I love how adventurous and big you are; thrusting yourself down big kid slides, creeping down the stairs when I'm not looking, and scooting along the sidewalk in a three-wheeler that's twice your size.  You have learned to hang with the big kids, and even tolerate their non-gentle behavior.  It will be so fun to watch you grow up as the fourth, with so much attention, and yet, so little babying. Life is so different for you than it was for Finley...no mom- and-me classes or baby gymnastics...just baseball games, playgrounds, and lots of bike rides.  I'm so thankful for you and that contagious smile of yours.  When I think of how God placed you in this scared little mom's belly, I'm reminded that His knowledge and plans are much greater than ours.  Happy birthday precious little one!