Chocolate in my Pocket

These two girls...bring such joy and brokenness to my heart. One of them is full of love, a natural mommy, with dreams of having a big family and lots of dogs.  The other one, is as bright as the sun, so creative, gifted, and magnetic. So different, those two.  Its beautiful when they play happily together. The one adores the other with so much affection, and the other brings so much joy and imagination. But truthfully, its more difficult for them than ever.  They have created false stories about the other, "she hates me and doesn't want me around," "she mocks me and steals all of my stuff." How I pray for moments when truth shines through.

Last Sunday, we dropped Finley off early at her worship team practice. She was sad that she wouldn't be able to get candy like the others. Daley, knowing this ache, ran to the candy bucket in search for the favorite piece of chocolate that Finley always grabs. She turned to me proudly holding up the Hershey's bar that she knew would bring thankfulness and joy from her sister. I told her that I would hold onto it, and she said, "no mom, I want to hold onto it and be the one to give it to her!" She tucked it into her sweater pocket. I knew that was a little risky, with her warm hand possibly squeezing the bar, or her continuous dance moves knocking it free, but it felt important, so we embraced the risk. After church, Daley ran to Finley and with so much joy, she handed over the chocolate treasure. Not only had she found the perfect piece, but she held onto it for an hour and a half, a measured accomplishment for a five year old.

And then began the giving, the recognizing of gifts, the grace. Sometimes, it only takes one gift to turn things around. Yes, they still fight, but their stories are changing...they're seeing opportunities for grace, and they're learning that money and things don't even compare to the gift in each other. I believe it will be a lifetime of learning to shut out the enemy's lies. It's an inspiration to me, to watch them navigate friendship and sin. I see my own self agonizing over hurts, and I pray for a heart that sees others through the lens of the Father. It must have been so different being Jesus, walking around this world without being blinded by sin and selfishness, to see each child of God for what they really are, and to love with so much more grace. He modeled giving, and taught us that broken people are worth saving, even if they are nailing your very hands to a cross.